I got silenced for a couple days 
2 Likes
I keep pulling from this post to help resolve real life family conflict. People just donāt know why they act the way they do sometimes. Thank you.
3 Likes
Somewhere that @cyclopath will leave me beā¦
2 Likes
Hereās a rule for civility- Would you say it to your grandparents?
You can argue like cats and dogs about something like sex, politics or religion with your grandparents, but would you say some of the nasty stuff being said on here to them?
As a āBig Lā Libertarian, I have no problem with any flavor of hateful or fear-inciting words, but this is a chemistry website and the owners/operators would like to keep it that way and I will try to respect that.
2 Likes
What someone says is far more important than how they say it
Fuck civility standards. We donāt need to derail threads bickering about tone. If you are offended by words on the screen, you have 2 options: grow up or turn off the screen.
Chasing civility standards will be a purity death spiral. A person can be offended by anything they choose to
5 Likes
Democratic civility standards are a moving target. Cilvity standards, if needed, imo must come from the top as one would do in a dwelling
Thats fair enough. I personally still donāt like it conceptually but it can at least be implemented without much issue
2 Likes
Communication is a concept delivered and understood. How we communicate delivers another message in itself about us and our values.
That message is more about the speaker, than the original message or the person we are delivering it to.
When you attack the messenger, rather than the issue, your message is that you know you canāt win the argument with facts, so are trying to draw on emotion to discredit and intimidate your opponent.
6 Likes
Exactly why worrying about making arbitrary civility standards is a waste of time.
Any discussion about offense and civility goes into subjective territory, and strays away from fact.
4 Likes
Just do what I do and pay someone to be civil for you so you can be like me - a total erratic mess!
Who am I paying? No clue! Why am I doing it? So itās their problem!
If you too would like this, send one dollar to āHappydude!ā At 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield! Blissful ignorance can be yours too!
@ky_cbd and yes this is exactly why I say āAHOY HOY!ā whenever I answer the phone.
7 Likes
I just watched that episode last night
2 Likes
One of my favorites!
2 Likes
God I love the old simpsons. Grew up on that shit.
Every Sunday Iād watch em. Re-runs, anything related to em. Especially at grandpa and grandmaās
1 Like
[quote=āTXisbest, post:231, topic:149505, full:trueā] [quote=āGraywolf, post:230, topic:149505ā]
When you attack the messenger, rather than the issue, your message is that you know you canāt win the argument with facts [/quote]
Exactly why worrying about making arbitrary civility standards is a waste of time.
Any discussion about offense and civility goes into subjective territory, and strays away from fact.
[/quote]
I would be saddened to think that most people on this forum donāt know how to maintain civil conversation.
If you were debating with an alluring woman whom you were also trying to seduce, would you know how to communicate your point online without grossly offending her?
What if it were your daughter, mother, or grandmother you were debating some issue with?
What if it was your wife and you wanted to retain your current eating and sleeping arrangement?
2 Likes
Offense is a personal choice. I cannot offend you, you can only choose to be offended
And I choose to be offended by any form of censorship whatsoever. So in order to appease some with tone policing, you may find others find that offensive
Some of the most useful things I have ever learned were not told to me kindly
2 Likes
Choosing offensive behavior is also a choice and flies in the face of actual communication.
4 Likes
Behavior cannot be offensive, as offense is a personal choice. I have 0 control over you, and your emotions unless you willingly give that control up.
We learned this in grade school. Sticks and stonesā¦
This site, nor society at large, has no need for more infantilism.
There are countless examples of the truth being considered āoffensiveā by the masses
6 Likes
I suggest that offense is a hard wired function of our medulla amagada. How we respond is choice.
Got any replicated, bigh quality peer reviewed studies to back that up?
Cause all I choose to be offended by is stupidity (such as tone policing)
If its hard wired, why am I (among other people and/or cultures) not as sensitive as most of the Western mindset is?
If its hardwired, why do different people get offended by different things?
How do you plan on policing whats offensive, given the above?
Behavior cannot be offensive??
I would argue that there are some behaviors that would be considered universally offensive regardless of the context or personal choice of the recipient.
Child abuse/rape comes to mind.
1 Like