I don’t regret it though. It’s so good. 
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Update:
I tried staying on Lexapro but ended up stopping because I felt like I wasn’t taking care of myself. Waited a month went back in it for around a month and the same thing happened. Stopped caring about my health and wellbeing, gained weight and felt like I was super depressed on the inside but showing happiness on the outside. Not masking. Just happened because I felt like life was doing everything but I wasn’t caring about myself.
It was like the feeling of helping other people clean their room how* your own room is a mess except the room was my brain and I was more focused on other people’s lives while just being okay with not being okay and just going through the motions.
At the same time though, my anxiety was down and I was able to go outside a little more but I started to rely on the ssri thing and didn’t manage trying to regulate my cortisol at all and I realized that yesterday which was 6 days after I stopped the meds and went holy fucking shit are you kidding me!!!
Everyone is correct when they gave the advice to seek therapy, that it’s better to get therapy before you start taking ssri’s.
Maybe I’m sensitive to ssri’s but I just feel like a passenger on them.
One attempt at Setraline. Two attempts with Lexapro.
I tried Abilify a few years back, I got Impulsive with spending money, drank beer a lot and felt like I needed to stay away from knives as well as heat in my head.
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I’ve become more mindful of my cannabis usage and came to the conclusion that I need to retire the 2’ bong and get something smaller.
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Smoke joints, don’t smoke diamonds lol, set in a sauna 3-4 times a week for 30-45 minutes, good cardio at least one time a day. Cut out nicotine if you use it.
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It’s good to make small, metered changes to your life like that - the ‘see what sticks on the wall’ approach where you try 100 different things and have no idea which works (if any) because you did them all at once makes it really hard to focus on the positive things that do work well
Hope you’re feeling better soon bro 
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Sauna 
. Now that’s a different one. I gotta try that.
I stopped smoking ciggs with my fiance in 2019.
I don’t smoke concentrates but I do smoke kief once in a while. I think downgrading the 2’ bong will be a good start.
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It’s my personal stoner opinion that fat bong rips are not optimized for maximum joy.
My theory is that there is a capacity/saturation point for absorption per inhalation, due to the surface area of the alveoli in a persons lungs. And that a properly milked 2ft bong is an overload where a decent amount of smoke is not absorbed/wasted. I would guess that the consensus of people feeling more ripped off a big ass bong hit (and holding it/coughing) might be more so oxygen deprivation in combination.
So I’d totally agree that’s a good idea to switch it up.
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You will withdrawal for like a week. You may not sleep well and be irritable. But you don’t need meds to comes off. Antidepressants make me feel like a zombie. How old are you? Just taper lower or just quit
I’ve been going lower with usage. I can’t finish a Raw '98 Special/one gram cone I get a little over halfway and then put it out.
I’m probably gonna buy a 1’ bong tomorrow and then go down from there.
I’m 32.
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I stopped holding hits in maybe in 2014. I read a study that confirmed it’s pointless to hold in hits because th only thing tlyoure doing is depriving yourself of oxygen and nothing more.
Smoking is the act of lighting up the herb, drawing the smoke and exhaling. Once it hits your lungs you’re good, no need to hold in, ever.
I can clear my 2’er easily. I don’t use a huge bowl either. I also keep up with my bongs hygiene.
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Coincidentally, I hate it whenever I smoke with someone and they keep the flame on the bowl and incinerate it. It’s like for one what the fuck, you gotta tell me if we’re smoking our own bowls because then I would’ve brought a vape or a torch
And I can’t fucking stand it when someone gets mad at me for telling them that they’re vaporozing the bowl and then get asked with a dumbass look: Does this bowl look like a vape? Or some dumbass shit like that and then I have to explain to them the difference between smoking and vaping while arguing about why I can’t kill a whole bowl.
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“The internal objects, introjects, and voices that populate your inner world are not a part of your core identity, but rather a kind of attribution error. These voices are triggered by circumstances and events in your life, but they are not your identity. Silencing the introjects does have an effect on your behavior and choices, but it doesn’t have an effect on who you are. Therapies such as cognitive behavior therapy, schema therapy, and Gestalt therapy can help silence these introjects and remove them, leaving your authentic self.”
“One of the most common attribution errors is the mistaken identification of one’s introjects with oneself.
The internal objects and voices that populate our inner world (automatic negative thoughts ANTs are a class of such voices) are not a part of our core identity - but they appear to us to be so.
Therapies - from CBT to schema and gestalt therapies - silence these echos of meaningful others.” :
“Your Introjects (Inner Voices) are NOT YOU!” (Prof. Sam Vaknin via YouTube)- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOUKysM2yI8
“Your Introjects (Inner Voices) are NOT YOU!” (Prof. Sam Vaknin via Vaknin-Talks)- https://vaknin-talks.com/transcripts/Your_Introjects_Inner_Voices_are_NOT_YOU/
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“The inner dialogue consists of various voices, including those of parents, peers, and societal expectations, which create a complex ego system that influences identity and self-perception. This dialogue often reflects societal pressures to conform and achieve, leading to feelings of inadequacy and unhappiness. To foster healing, one must identify the sources of these voices, discern which are authentic, and construct a narrative that is coherent, inclusive, and aligned with personal values rather than societal demands. Ultimately, achieving a state of happiness involves embracing one’s existence and creating a meaningful narrative that promotes self-acceptance and integration, free from the distortions imposed by external expectations.” :
“Change Your Inner Dialog, Narrative Plot” (Prof. Vaknin via YouTube)- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VADTrLCi1N0
“Change Your Inner Dialog, Narrative Plot” (Prof. Vaknin via Vaknin-Talks)- https://vaknin-talks.com/transcripts/Change_Your_Inner_Dialog_Narrative_Plot/
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The inner voice that never wants to shut up is just our brain computer system working. It’s not us speaking in our heads for the most part. It’s a series of data that our brains are working out in ralation to whatever is going on around us. The feeling of clarity you get when inhaling fresh air on a nice day is the real you.
Agree with everyone’s thoughts about not puffing so much at one time. I’ve been a 1 hit bongo player since like 2002. And puffing a jointer even with others, I physically start coughing and am really feeling good in the head. I’m from a older era and I can’t even take one hit off a blunt, gross.
Yes anything that binds to the ace2 receptor and causes it to internalize is probably not good for you. You can only imagine what that shit did to your crebral and brain stem capillary beds.
Perhaps generations breeding with consequent loss of broader landrace genetic representation in conjunction with a shift to purely Type I cannabis with minimal CBDA production accounts for the difference in the experience of cannabis. Most current cannabis bearing THCA has very different terpenoid and flavonoid profiles than cannabis that was available just a couple decades ago. I was talking with someone today who purchased cannabis flower from a dispensary a few years ago after spending many years without cannabis. He took a couple of puffs, didn’t like the effects, flushed it down the toilet, and never looked back. It was a very different experience compared to what he remembered from many years before.
Ancient texts from India specified that cannabis flower should be aged for two years underground before being mechanically processed into hashish. The aging allowed for the effects of the terpenoids and flavonoids to mellow with a significant portion of the cannabinoids degrading into CBN. Only then was it processed into hashish and used for religious ceremony. They were likely using Type II cannabis with equal proportions of enzymatic production of THCA and CBDA along with broad landrace genetic representation. The hashish produced from flowers with such wide genetic variation from plant to plant in conjunction with aging created a mellow experience suitable for religious use. They knew that aged cannabis was better for mass ceremony that’s why they codified flower aging in their texts.
It would be great to produce something like HTE from Type II flowers of landrace origin. I bet the effects would be mellow and amazing compared to most of the strains which dominate consumer markets today.
The inner voice in our mind is informed by introjections of others which establish early in our lives. We develop a kind internal voice when our caregivers and others in our lives speak kindly to us. We developed a mean internal voice when our caregivers and others in our lives speak meanly to us. Negative introjections can be removed. A kinder inner voice can be developed. Here is a search which yields more information about introjections:
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Sauna is truly a wonderful health/wellness tool, especially after an intense massage. Definitely get very noticable benefit from it, moreso the more often I go. I try to make it at least once every couple months, though some people swear by saunas weekly or even daily.
I get where you’re coming from, and I’ve been there. As we get older our neurochemistry, outside stimuli, and priorities, tend to shift quite significantly.
I tried smoking only before bed, and though I felt more lucid and focused I clearly didn’t factor in how big of a pothead I’ve been for the last 20 years. I’m also your age, and what worked tremendously well for me was implementing top shelf indoor CBD flower. I still smoke high THC during the day, but not nearly as much as I used to. The high CBD low THC flower gives me my oral fixation, a huge calming wave from my anxiety, and doesn’t make me feel “unpleasant” effects from smoking while trying to stay motivated, awake, or get things done.
My first time trying this proved to be pretty laughable, as I was nearly convinced there was no CBD flower of sufficient quality to make me feel like my bong hits were pleasurable. I bought CBD flower from probably 5 different suppliers before giving up. Upon revisiting and finally finding CBD flower that rivaled the quality of high THC flower I smoke, my silent prayers seemed to be answered. Feel WAY better about my cannabis habit and its effects on my functionality as a result. Way more clear headed and way less anxious.
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Any recommendations for CBD flower providers?