It’s starting to seem like my anxiety is spiking when I smoke cannabis. I kinda miss when it was like a joyful laughing thing and I think that I want to quit for a while and compare life without it.
I say a lot that I love weed and that I don’t want to quit but I think that I’m just addicted to it by now. I think that I’ve smoked so much weed in my life that I am starting to, “feel good on it.”
I’ve been lowering the amount of THCA in the Cannabis I’ve been buying from the dispensaries every other ounce lately (every ounce lasts two weeks, I’ve significantly lowered my cannabis usage in the past few years from dabbing a slab a month to an ounce of whole leaf every two weeks) that I’ve been buying and I know subconsciously my brain is being the parent and is telling me… well, screaming at me to give it up and i know I have to wean by lowering the THCA before attempting to quit so it’s easier.
I went from what they say was 32% Alien Mints to high 27% Highaleah and then lower 27% Unicorn Meat and now I’m at 24% Burnt Orange.
Last week I felt Greeeeeeeeeeeat but this week I feel anxious and paranoid… I don’t like this shit. This trading off of the hit or miss of will it or won’t it spike the anxiety.
I really am trying to aim to be at a low % cannabis usage with a high % cbd usage or maybe a 50:50 strain or some shit that cannabis is involved with because it’s the only thing that really helps my Autism because I don’t focus on everything bad in my life but I hate to say it I recently came to the conclusion that I’ve been living in a loop of escapism and I think cannabis is helping the loop continue and I really feel like I’m screwing myself in certain areas of life by smoking.
I’ve tried straight up 99% cbd and it’s not where it’s at for me, I just feel like I’m better than everyone else and a dickhole.
I’m going on Lexapro tomorrow.
If I do give up cannabis for a while I’ll still be with you all and giving advice the best I can.
I guess I’m anxious about starting anxiety medication and I really just sorta feel pathetic for feeling like I’m most likely addicted to cannabis and that I feel like I need to start really finding better ways of dealing with my mental health issues and learning to not avoid life as much.
I find a good CBD strain to be really useful for smoking without having overwhelmingly intoxicating effects. Also, the CBD strawberry jam live resin @Eskerium_Devin made with our genetics is fuego. Love it in the puffco or terp slurper. Like 8.5% terps if I remember correctly. Would be happy to send you some to try out. I have no tolerance, and it gets me stoned, but not enough to have any unwanted effects. It’s funny I can take a dab of DMT way easier than if someone were to offer me a rosin dab.
But honestly what’s always helped me best is just saying busy. No need to get high when your already having a great busy day, or if you do get high while your having a great busy day the chances are it’s gonna be alright.
Yeah that’s one of the problem is I haven’t had a good hobby in a long time and everything I keep coming up with just keeps seeming like another way to avoid myself.
Put it this way, I was gonna put a payment plan on a 3D printer. I know nothing about it, the payment plan got rejected and then I realized it’s just another avoidance/escapism tactic. Falling into another hobby that uses a fuck load of consumables for no outcome… Learning a bunch about something in hopes of an outcome that feels accomplished but in reality is just another way to waste time without feeling like I’ve done nothing.
I suppose that could be considered a form of tactically being lazy except it’s all happening without me knowing it’s happening unless I realize it and catch it.
A good example of catching it was a few days ago I said out loud I wanna get fucked up!!! and then a few mins later I went, son of a bitch!!! no I don’t I just wanna avoid more time by being in a state of perplexity overthinking what I would consider realizations about my life, overall purposely avoiding what I want to do to progress further in life. FUCK!!!
Lexapro? Dude just take a walk and talk to strangers. Listen to the birds or even the cars going by. Music is your friend. Please don’t go down psycho med route unless it is your last resort.
As a pharmacist, i have to strongly agree. SSRIs are dramatically overprescribed (especially in the US) and the risks and side effects are rarely considered adequately in a therapeutic setting, as well as the inevitable dependence on SSRIs due to receptor downregulation which makes it incredibly difficult to get rid of them - even with very careful dose tapering.
In males, the prevalence of being completely unable to orgasm (and thus prohibiting prostate draining, exacerbating prostate cancer risk) is very high. Most male patients i know are unable to tolerate this.
There are alternatives, but they need to be chosen according to a carefully executed diagnosis by a very knowledgeable physician, which are rare.
I would consider a hobby that also brings physical exercise and maybe some community if there might be anything out there that interests you. So even when your spending time on a hobby it won’t feel like a waste because your also getting a nice workout/building a skill. Personally I picked up riding dirtbikes 7yrs ago because it was something I always wanted to do and never had the chance as a kid, just trail riding/off road exploring. Eventually I joined a local riding club and in the club I’ve met some of the coolest/best ppl, honestly only place I’ve made genuine friends as an adult lol, but imo one of the best communities I’ve encountered. I also picked up mountain bike riding to support conditioning, that has a cool community too but I prefer the motor.
But anything, golf, disc golf etc, think about some physical hobbies then get on fb and see if there are any local groups you can try and get involved with.
Personally to me taking a ride out in the woods is some real throttle therapy, all your focus is dedicated to the process, it’s almost impossible to get distracted by any other anxiety/problems.
Or becoming mentally unattracted to yourself and feeling like you’re a passenger in your own life and like you’re just going along with, “feeling normal.”
I was cleaning my house like crazy, I didn’t care about what I ate and gained weight and I’m still working a little bit of it off. Basically, being okay with not being okay ×2.
That was Setraline though.
I with there was a good Piperidine based one that’s not Paxil, haven’t tried it (yet) but it’s the only one that’s Piperidine. I wish there was a half adhd medication half depression medication part anxiety medication with anti-psychotic effects on the market.
My body responds well to the Piperidine made stuff. For instance my body can handle Methylphenidate easier than Amphetamine.
I was married a long time ago. My then-wife got on lexapro and over the course of the next year, she gained a hundred pounds. That wasnt the only reason we divorced, but it didnt help.
Regarding weed, you might try some older strains. I have a cut of “1980s OG” (more like 1980s Kush) that I really like as a daytime smoke. I feel like the cannabinoid profile is more balanced. It’s probably low 20s thc. Older strains have a more active and energetic buzz to them. In comparison, a more modern strain like Bananaconda feels like an anesthetic.
I’ve been on a couple different SSRIs over my life, including prozac, citalopram, and buspirone. My suggestion to you would be that if you aren’t already on SSRIs, try literally anything else. Try quitting weed. Getting on SSRIs can be a trap that you are stuck with for life without a long-term tapering plan, unless you want to risk a major psychiatric episode.
SSRIs should be the absolute last step after you’ve tried everything else.
I’m gonna strongly second @Autumn_Ridge_Hemp when it comes to the older strains. The older more balanced the genetics the more even high it seems to give imo. I smoke daily (mostly flower) and I personally don’t go for anything higher than about 25% so working down off of slabs and mid 30’s% is definitely headed in the right direction. I would also second pretty much everyone else on here in finding a hobby that gets you outside. My go to is fishing. It’s a great way to get outside, fairly cheap to get into, and lots of wonderful people to meet. It’s also a great way to train yourself to accept that sometimes you’re going to get nothing but that doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. And alot of the time when I am fishing I’ll take along something to smoke, look up 4-5hrs later not having smoked at all. If you’re anywhere around southern oregon feel free to hit me up and I’ll go out with you! SSRI’s have their place but they are definitely over prescribed in today world and if you can find something that works for you and skip the pharmacutical trap I’d be happy to help!
